Transcribed Stroller Column: "Sonata in Jump for Four Juke Boxes" by Sig Byrd, Wednesday, March 12, 1952

      It was getting towards the shank of the business day, and the Reef (that section of Milam Street from Preston to Prairie) was shutting down.
      Or opening up, depending in what kind of business you mean.
      At the Goodwill store, northwest corner, Milam and Preston, Carolyn Mason, a pretty brown-eyed girl was about to empty the day’s receipts into a steel cash box, when she saw the shifty-eyed derelict take a 39-cent shirt off the rack, roll it up and stick in inside his shirt.
      Being physically handicapped, like all Goodwill employees (she suffered a spine injury in a traffic accident), Carolyn wondered what she ought to do.

* * *

      Across Preston, the Real Tailors was closing, but the Rose O’Dixie and three other bars were spilling boogie music into the Reef. The sidewalks, both sides, were crowed with people going home and people with no home to go to, black people brown people, white people.

Glitter

      In the 411 Club, the glittering new heart and nerve center of the Reef, owner Bob Griffey, ex-gambler, wearing a yellow sports coat, stood near the cash register, shuffling silver half-dollars like a deck of cards. On his left hand a diamond flashed like a headlight of a locomotive.
      Bob felt good. His place was crowded. Not a vacant table, not an idle moment for the brown-skinned waitresses. His customers were dark-complexioned, but they were sports. The left two inched of beer in their bottles, and smoked two-bit cigars.
      Bob laughed aloud, but couldn’t hear himself because of the music and voices. He laughed because he knew what the sure-thing boys were saying – that Griffey was flat. Huh! Huh-huh!

* * *

      Across the Reef, in Prensky’s pawnshop, an ex-night-club bouncer was trying to sell an expensive camera. He was trying to raise train fare home. He was dying of cancer and wanted to die in the town of his birth, not in a Jeff Davis ward.

Pursuit

      A bright boy in a purple big-apple cap paused at Prensky’s window, looking at the knives. He wanted to see if there was a knife in the window with a blade longer than the one he had in his pocket. There wasn’t. From the corners of his eyes he watched the white man coming out of the pawnshop carrying a camera. The bright boy wondered how much the camera was worth.
      Down at the corner a contact man in a pink sports shirt was waiting for a contact. The contact was late. A yellow-skinned woman passed him and he said, “You seen old Mule Ear?”
      I’ve seen him a hour ago,” the yellow woman said. “He was with Two-by-Fo.” The woman hurried across the street. A big dark man in a $150 suit followed her, but she didn’t look back.

* * *

      In the 411 Club, Bob Griffey passed the deck of half-dollars to his cashier. The cashier, too, was a white man, and he always looked pale next to Bob. Then the ex-gambler turned around and gazed through the fog of tobacco smoke at the murals.
      The murals cover three walls of the 411 Club. They were painted by a colored boy named Lemanzel Finley, who wore a beret.

Street Scene

      Bob Griffey doesn’t completely trust men who wear berets, but he paid Lemanzel $200 for the job. He wondered if he, Bob, got stung.
      The first picture, nearest the door showed a well-dressed, middle-aged colored man hurrying along a city street. Ahead of him three other persons stood against a background of skyscrapers. One was a wavy-haired youth in a zoot-suit with a drape-shape. The second was a slick chick standing on the lid of a large garbage can. Since she wore a tight skirt, the results were arresting.
      The third figure was a well-dressed middle aged colored man, wearing a ring set with what Bob supposed to be a zircon.
      The series of pictures continued around the walls, and ended near the bar, with an enlarged portrait of an open straight razor.
      It seemed to Bob that the pictures told a kind of story, but he couldn’t figure it all out. The wavy haired boy, he decided, was a producer. The man with the zircon was to get shed of the chick. But the rest was cloaked in dark symbolism.

Under Arrest

      Back in the Goodwill store, Carolyn watched the shifty-eyed man sidle towards the door with the stolen 39-cent shirt Her heart bumped her ribs. He was at the door now. Now he was walking down the street. Suddenly Carolyn picked up the empty steel box and started running. She completely forgot that she couldn’t run. She chased the thief two blocks and told him she would hit him in the head with the box if he didn’t bring the shirt back.
      The derelict denied the theft, but he went back to the store. Carolyn followed behind him the steel box ready. She didn’t look up the Reef as she marched him back into the store, but there was a commotion in front of the Rose O’Dixie bar.

* * *

      Two men were fighting on the sidewalk. A young man and a big dark man. The young man wore a purple cap. In the crowd looking on was a yellowed-skinned woman. She begged the men watching to stop the fight. “He’s got a knife!” She kept saying. “He’s got a knife!”
     The police car coming up Milam started to stop at the Goodwill store, where the complaint had come from, but then the man at the wheel saw the crowd on the eats side of the Reef, he drove on, but with out pushing the yellow signal. You can stop trouble in Catfish Reef, but it’s only temporary. It always breaks out again.

The Waco Whorish Invasion of 1952 (Revisited): A Poetic Call to Protect Houston's Virtue

I liked this poem by Carl Victor Little so much, I had to transcribe it. An army of Jezebels marching across Texas to imperil Houston’s virtue just tickles my fancy.

To clarify, my fancy isn’t actually being tickled by an army of Jezebels. I’m not Charlie Sheen.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Take in the sidewalks, slam the shutters
Civic leaders, mobilize!
From Waco’s sin strips and her gutters
Come sinful ladies, every size –
The stout and short, the tall and lean,
They come three hundred strong,
The blondes, brunettes and in-between:
Come ring the warning gong!

They’re fancy ladies from Old Waco,
Who flee the legislative wrath;
Three hundred damsels on the make-
A-treading down the primrose path.

Let‘s Search all landing stratoliners,
Come block the highways east and west;
Let’s raid the Pullmans and the diners,
Let’s show a little moral zest!
We want no sinful infiltration,
Three hundred gals are on the prowl,
They’re causing civic consternation,
Bringing forth a civic howl.

They’re antisocial dames from Waco,
Now put to flight by state kefauvers,
Three hundred dames for goodness sake-O
Ole Satan o’er our city hovers

Up Captain Seber, also Buster!
Alert the city and the count!
All vigilantes let us muster-
Upon these heads let’s put a bounty
Call out Jim West, his Cadillacs,
We’ll have no sinners sinning here,
Halt all invaders in their tracks
For civic righteousness, let’s cheer.

They’re fugitives from Baptist Waco
Converging on Houston, TX
Three hundred gals in Satan’s shako
Who put much emphasis on sex

Let’s’ warn all hotel house detectives,
Yea at the Shamrock and the Rice,
That all of Waco’s moral defectives
Are swooping on us, in a trice.
We want no flotsam and no jetsam,
No gals from Waco’s dens of vice,
Let’s hope Ole Nick comes forth and gets ‘em
Before they reach our Paradise!

Away! Away! Soiled Magdalenes!
You’re got us in a civic hassle:
They’ll welcome you in New Orleans.

Houston & Other Places in Gorgeous Sanborn Insurance Map Titles

Insurance map titles and the word “gorgeous,”not what one would think.  But feast your typography-appreciating eyes on the design beauty of Sanborn Insurance map title pages.

I’ve been kind of obsessed with these images since being introduced to them by BibliOdyssey’s blog post on them.  A google of Houston and Sanborn lead to Sanborn Maps of Texas (which are the source of the above images) from the UT Library Online website.


Salt Lake City, Utah 1911, originally uploaded by peacay.

Houston Might Become Better/Weirder By Addition of Single Person

He won’t be attending the downtown campus (where a particularity fantastic professor teaches), but  actor/writer/bong smoker James Franco was accepted for the the University of Houston’s writing program Fall of 2012.

I look forward to the addition of his “unusually high metabolism for productivity …the opposite of ADHD: a superhuman ability to focus that allows him to shuttle quickly between projects and to read happily in the midst of chaos.” *

The breathless internet tweeting, blogging and facebooking of his every move if he comes to town should make for fun reading.

"Socialist Preach Failure & Abortion" – Civics and Grammar Lessons From A Willowbend Neighbor

A new sign went up in the neighborhood, to replace a previous message.

It was unclear if the message is a patriotic one, the flag should clear up any doubts, which was missing from the first one.

Dreaming of the Open Road: "My House, My Home, It Rolls With Me"

I like the first one to tow the second one.

1971 Starstreak Motorhome (Custom) 04//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js

Vickers, originally uploaded by trailerman ken.

Wednesday Night Photo Post: Wild Vehicles In The Houston Suburbs

No-Tsu-Oh Needs to Come Back: A Late Fall Mardi Gras for Chemical City

Recently, the idea of a Houston Mardi Gras has been floated. But instead of a new tradition, may I suggest the revival of a uniquely Houston one.

Houston used to have a Mardi Gras-like festival called No-Tsu-Oh. It started in 1899 and ended the outbreak of WW1. To quote the Handbook of Texas Online,

“The festival, designed to stimulate commerce by bringing people to the city, customarily filled a week in November and featured parades, balls, and a football game between the University of Texas and the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas (now Texas A&M University). The carnival was characterized by much backward spelling. No-Tsu-Oh, for example, is Houston spelled backward; black citizens celebrated the De-Ro-Loc (colored) Carnival; and King Nottoc (cotton) reigned over the early festivals until King Retaw (water) replaced him to celebrate completion in 1914 of the deep-water channel to Houston…”

Like Las Vegas’ Helldorado celebration, a modern No-Tsu-Oh has the promise to contain all the eccentricity and strangeness that Houston has to offer. Combine the Art Car Parade with debauchery of St. Pat’s and the guilt-free paganess of Halloween and that would be my dream.

With backwards spelling part of the tradition, I offer up these suggestions as a starting point for the new festival.

Sir Buh
Erised
Y Loc Nolem

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Also See:

    This Is Houston & This Is Not Houston

    There was a dubious tradition in Ye Olden Days to depict Houston as a place with rolling hills, and not as a flat swamp with occasional buildings. The above picture is one example.

    However, the rollercoaster in the prairie feels right.  Maybe the long-gone Luna Park on White Oak Bayou?

    Normally, I’m a total stickler for image sources, but I can’t recall if I found these two at The Library of Congress and/or University of Houston Digital Library

    Research Project on Middle Bayou Runs Down a Road and To the Preserve: What Oil and NASA Didn't Get, Still Remains

    Old Sig Byrd columns are my frequent source for local history. While there is more Houston every year, (let’s hear it for the 4th largest city in the U.S.!) not much of what Sig saw remains. Even 60+ years ago, Sig was lamenting the loss of the city he knew and marveling at the wealth and industry that was building the skyline.

    So, surprisingly, it was three columns about wilderness and bayou that piqued my interest. In 1952, Sig wrote about Jimmy Martyn’s 28,000 acre farm, off of Red Bluff Rd. A decade later Humble Oil literally bought the farm. Eventually NASA got some of the Humble property. In the 70’s, preservation efforts stopped further development and the remaining wilderness is now Armand Bayou Nature Center.

    The center is where I hope to be on Saturday. A small girl will be in tow, so we’ll see how this trip goes.