Author: Robert Kimberly
Neon Poisoning's Blog Writer Voted "Foxy Houston Blogger" By Houston Blog Neon Poisoning
Houston Magazine (so hip it’s a total bitch to find on Google, try it!) wrote about three Houston bloggers as ones to read. See if you can find something… incongruous in the article’s second paragraph.
“…One is a snarky Manhattan based socialite and self-proclaimed ‘style snob’ from a powerful H-town fam. Another is an artsy babe who knits on the bus, and from his new Brooklyn home, offers wacky fashion news and poetically wary observations about the world. The third is an affable Heights Hipster with design and shopping tips to spare…”
It was In(side) the Loop that posted pix of parts of the article. She lives in Houston. Thus making her the third blogger in the article. Copious internet research has not unearthed the other two and I have yet to go to an over-priced boutique store for the purpose of tracking down said magazine.
My reaction to 66% of the bloggers mentioned in the Houston blogger article residing in NYC is the same as if I lived in New York and was told the best NYC bloggers to read were currently residing in LA. I mean, really? This is the best you could do?
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Houston Magazine’s Chicago-Based Publisher – Modern Luxury
Masonic Texas: Hiding in Plain Sight
Freemasons. You know, the sneaky, conspiratorial architects of doom secretly plotting secret plots to take over the world the day after tomorrow. So sneaky, they have websites, public tours of lodges and extremely large memorials to previous brothers. How insidious.
Since the Masons started as a guild of skilled labor, many of their lodges are architecturally striking. I had been working on a map of such places in the US when some productive Googling over the holiday led to this discovery…
… a map of Masonics lodge in Texas. Complied by a brother Mason, this is a gold mine for me. With 1,400 locations listed, I don’t have a need to visit every small town lodge in rural Texas. However, it may lead me to some new intriguing places to visit, in hopes for finding some architectural treasure I would have been unaware of otherwise.
My wife walked up behind me as I was looking at the Texas Masonic map, and knowing my love of road trips and strange attractions, started hitting me on the head and saying, “No! No! Bad! Bad!” I reassured her that we wouldn’t have to visit every lodge in Texas. Just some of the more interesting ones, I thought silently.
Wednesday Night Photo Post: Other Houston Photographers – "The Never Ending Addition House"
From meltedplastic entry…
“This house located in the 2200 block of Wichita Street in Houston, Texas has been added onto so many times and with so many styles I really do not know what to think. But I love the witch on a broomstick weather vane at the top of the tallest tower. Check out that deck too. “
A coworker drove me by this place on Monday. Made me very happy. So, in celebration, I will be looking for great houses of visionary genius in Houston and tagging them “With Neighbors Like That…”
Photopost: National Museum of Funeral History & Museum of the Weird Yard Sale
Model of National Tomb lowering mechanism – National Museum of Funeral History – Houston, TX, originally uploaded by Mr. Kimberly.
Popemobile! – “Celebrating the Lives and Deaths of the Popes” – National Museum of Funeral History – Houston, TX, originally uploaded by Mr. Kimberly.
Housewives and Beer Drinkers of Houston: Reality. Really? Really!
Part 1:
My dream reality show: “Hour of Power with Dave and Rachael,” hosted by Dave Attell (accomplished alcoholic/comedian and former host of Insomniac with Dave Attell) and Rachael Ray (bubbly, bouncy, mini-Martha Stewart and good-time gal). Dave and Rachael pound a shot of beer every minute for an hour and take on various food and strange social quests in a new city every episode. No city has a population more than 200,000 and none of them are in English speaking countries.
Hilarity ensues.
Part 2:
The wife and I were at our respective computers, when she started snickering.
“What?”
She says, “They’re going to be filming the “Real Housewives of Houston.”
Dear God, why?!! Why must we know about more pneumatic, highlighted, shrill, soon-to-be ex-trophy wives and their compulsive consumption and laughable “talents”? The only thing good about the timing of this new show might be how the rich and shallow handle (or don’t handle) the impending economopocalypse (financial meltdown). Oh, the tragedies that will ensue! See how the folks of River Oaks survive with all that they hold dear.
“How can I be seen in a 2-door Bentley? What will the neighbors think?”
*Sigh*
My wife thinks I should try to get on the show, seeing as how I am a househusband and baby wrangler. Let’s look at the show’s Craigslist posting and see how I do…
Veteran Hollywood Reality TV Producer is casting NOW for:
Real Housewives of Houston
Ladies, we are looking for REAL women of Houston.
– Totally sexist!
Requirements:
* 20-50 yrs old
– Sadly closer to 50 than 20 😦
* Group of 4-8 friends
– Hmm… nope.
Looking for fun, outgoing, photogenic, attractive Houston ladies who all lead
real, interesting, lives.
– I blog and surf the internet ALL the time! That would make for great TV!
* A flair for TEXAS styles and TEXAS fashions a must
– When I show up in my denim miniskirt, cowboy boots, a longhorn’s shirt and rhinestone earrings, I’ll be a total shoe-in. What else would a person from California expect a Texan housewife to wear?
Once again I’m sure my feelings about humanity will be reconfirmed when Bravo starts airing this quality new show. But something tells me that there will be some televised entertainment about the men of Houston that will be equally deserving of snark.
Attn: Male Beer Drinkers between the ages of 25-34
We are recruiting for 4hr focus groups, on the 16 December, in the Houston area. In the group you will share your beer drinking experience and expertise. If you are selected you will be compensated for your time. All participation is confidential.
If interested please contact us by emailing leaving:
Your name
Your age
Your Location (City you reside)
Best phone number to reach you:
Best time to call:
Best email to reach you:
Please feel free to pass this on to friends that you think might qualify
I’ll totally do that!
Wednesday Night Photo Post: Other Houston Photographers
NarrowLarry presents: Selected Visionary Folk Art Environments in the United States
I love weird roadside attractions, so when I discovered Houstonian NarrowLarry I was pleased. He’s a fountain of information and one of his many interests is American folkart environments. A recent visit to his site shows the welcome addition of a google map with over 100 such locations. Most of the places have corresponding weblinks and he has visited many of the places personally. A quick look at some of the Texas locations has me itching for a roadtrip. With gas so cheap, we could even afford it!
The embedded Google Map below may not be displaying correctly, a problem on Google’s part. This KML link can be opened in Google Earth and will properly display the locations that Narrow Larry has kindly placed for all to see.
Houston in Life Magazine: Monorail!
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Bayou City History: When monorail came to Houston
Google Image Search for Houston “Monorail” in Life Magazine Collection
Neon Poisoning 